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Essay Collection

Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!


Essays Tagged: Etiquette



Play Party Etiquette by Non-Famous Lauren
Filed in: etiquette, protocol, play

The following document contains some valuable information about BDSM play party etiquette. It was written for users of the Usenet newsgroup alt.sex.bondage, and is intended to cover both events held i[...]

Afternoon Tea 1: An Experience in British Tea Service by Norische
Filed in: how-to, ritual, etiquette, service, protocol

Tea: A History While there are volumes of information about the rich and illustrious tradition of Tea Time in Britain, information of the earliest introduction of tea to England and its associates ar[...]

Afternoon Tea 2: What will you serve, and how to serve it? by Norische
Filed in: how-to, ritual, etiquette, service, protocol

Now that the basics have been covered lets move on to the invitation, menu and serving of a proper Afternoon tea. Invitations Invitations should be sent 10 to 14 days in advance, this should ensure [...]

Afternoon Tea 3: Recipes: From Traditional to Exotic by Norische
Filed in: how-to, ritual, etiquette, service, protocol

There are many excellent recipes out there that are completely acceptable when it comes to a traditional British Afternoon Tea; the following are just a few suggestions that one might consider. While [...]

Every ROSE Has A Thorn: Honor, Respect and Protocol Amongst Dominants by Norische
Filed in: dominance, rules, etiquette, protocol

Recently a submissive I was communicating with informed me that a Domme from Missouri, where I am from, told him that I was a fake. He would not give me the specifics but in general he stated that thi[...]

Etiquette For Public Play by laynie
Filed in: etiquette, play

Having been in this lifestyle for 6 years and having had the opportunity to play as well as DM at various public and private events. It always amazes me how many people do not [...]

An Esoteric View: Civility and Incivility in The Scene by Master Eso
Filed in: etiquette, scene

In this essay, God is mentioned and referred to in numerous instances. This might be bothersome to some of us, although it really should not be. For God is just another description, [...]

Establishing a Protocol by Laura Antoniou
Filed in: training, rules, etiquette, protocol, behavior

A talk given by Laura Antoniou, December 1, 2000What is the number one reason for failure of an S/M relationship?Lack of consistency. Not failed flogging or lack of fetish wear. Consistency.Basicall[...]

How to Negotiate Play Parties, For Men by Peppermint
Filed in: etiquette, negotiation, protocol, play parties

I hold sex parties, and at every sex party, it seems like some guy messes up and pisses off some woman. In most cases, he is a perfectly nice and not at all creepy fellow who just screwed up slightly[...]