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What is Subspace?

Author: Lady Tawn

Filed in: submission, subspace

"I have only heard of it, and everything I have read seems to differ. What is it and how do I know I am there? Why would I want to go there? I would love to hear about specific experiences as well as the concept in general."

Good questions *s*… so many D/sers seem to use the words subspace and/or "diving" and/or "flying" that I think it is very easy to assume that everyone ELSE knows what they mean but I have a strong feeling that all of the above are used as a kind of personal shorthand to describe the varying combinations of "head trips" experienced by submissives (dependent upon their own personality, desires, partner(s) and of course the scene itself).

I have been thinking about this for a while now and I suggest that the altered states experienced in submission fall very roughly into five categories as follows -

Endorphin highs

This is probably the easiest state to explain rationally. When we experience pain (and/or fear) the body releases endorphins which help us to cope with the "assault". One of the other rather nice side effects of endorphins are that they can produce a delicious "natural" high which can vary from a warm floaty feeling to intense screaming euphoria. I have almost no doubt that what some submissives describe as diving/flying is very largely endorphin based but there are other more complicated elements to consider…


There is no doubt that endorphin highs can produce euphoric feelings but I believe that submission itself, the joy of overcoming the difficulties and succeeding in the true, conscious desire to submit can also bring one to a euphoric state.


The desire to submit is almost always connected with (if not limited by) our sexuality and submission can be a huge sexual "kick" in itself. I think it would be wrong to ignore the fact that the "simple" act of submitting to a greater/stronger power can make your heart beat faster, get you wet between the legs and generally send your mind into a sexual spin of its own.


The submissive headspace… what some might call subspace… once this point is reached, I feel submission is not only easier, it even becomes difficult (if not impossible) NOT to submit (which is incidentally why a sub in this space needs to be handled with special care). Quite how one reaches this state seems to vary for everyone but I would describe it as a very trusting, accepting and peaceful place… in a deep headspace even communication can become difficult… To me, at the time, it often feels as if I am losing focus and yet I am also aware that focus with a trusted partner is vital and I don’t believe I would ever reach that place without its existence.


Primarily in the philosophical as opposed to any religious sense however I wanted to use that word because to me this state (which is closely related to headspace above, but possibly other states too) comes close to what I understand one can achieve through meditation in that it is total focus without focus. All sorts of other paradoxes spring to mind to explain this feeling… total freedom through total control… joy in pain… power in submission… strength in weakness… heightened consciousness with a loss of awareness… a sense of self through losing oneself… laffin at myself… I am not sure anyone else will identify with this but for me I guess THIS is true subspace…

SO… to try and end this rambling… I cant tell you what subspace is for you… I doubt that anyone really could…. How will you know when you get there? Well you might "just know" and on the other hand it might take a while to realise it. Why would you want to go there? I don’t know but I will say this… do not look upon achieving "subspace" as your goal… your prize for submission… because in my experience the more one looks for it the harder it is to find. Instead, concentrate on doing what feels good and right to YOU and if that involves true submission then subspace will find you eventually.

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