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Essay Collection

Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!


Essays Tagged: Humor

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Top 10 Signs you are Too Old for BDSM by Unknown
Filed in: humor

10. Sensory deprivation is when your Dom hides your hearing aid batteries. 9. Your nipple clamps have training wheels. 8. Edge play is standing by the microwave with a pacemaker. 7. When you tell y[...]

Top 10 ways to be a SAM by Lady K
Filed in: humor

Get up on the wrong side of the rack this morning? A little miffed after that 12 hour bondage scene yesterday? Not getting enough of the whip? Perhaps you are just feeling kinda SAMmy? These are the t[...]

Whipping Wonderland (carol) by Unknown
Filed in: humor

Sung To The Tune Of "Winter Wonderland" Slave bells ring, are you listening? Through the pain, their eyes are glistening. A beautiful sight, We're happy tonight Walking in a whipping wonder[...]

More Various Christmas Carols by Unknown
Filed in: humor

"Tune of White Chirstmas" o/~ Sub's nuts roasting o'er an open fire Domme Frost nipping at their toes, Yuletide screams being sung by subchoir subbie girls in schoolgirl clothes... ..o/~ &q[...]

'Twas The Night Before Christmas by Unknown
Filed in: humor, poetry, holidays

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; The paddles were hung in the cupboard with care, In hopes that her bottom soon would be[...]

The 12 Days of Kinky Christmas by Unknown
Filed in: humor

On the 1st day of Christmas, my master gave to me... A Small Feather Pillow for my knees. On the 2nd day of Christmas, my master gave to me... 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knee[...]

Jingle Belles by Unknown
Filed in: humor

Dashing through the house In a corset and high heels Hands tied behind our backs How naughty we do feel! Belles in bondage tight Make our spirits bright What fun it is to tie and gag A naughty bitch [...]

Hey I'm Putting You In Bondage, Tonight(carol) by Unknown
Filed in: humor

Oh, you better not pout, You better not cry, You better not shout, I'm telling you why, I'm putting you in bondage, tonight. I'm getting out ropes, Checking them twice Because you have been Naughty b[...]

Top 20 Politically Correct Way To Call Someone A Pervert by Unknown
Filed in: humor

20. Morally Challenged 19. Sadomasochistically-engineered 18. Sensationally-accomplished 17. Kinkifically-resolved 16. Exhibitionismically-oriented 15. Missionary-incompatible 14. Dominantly-end[...]

Short Jokes by Various
Filed in: humor

Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their chi[...]

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