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The Selective Slut

Author: Kayla Kuffs

Filed in: sex, submissives, sexuality, slut, bdsm lifestyle

The first time I was called a slut in a BDSM context I was extremely insulted. How dare they? How rude! But I was too new to this lifestyle to do anything more than think those words. I did however, notice the term slut tossed around like a beach ball and I had a real hard time with it. How could these women accept that term?

Well time has educated me a little. So have a few dominants that have passed through my life. I've shaken off the vanilla context that word has and have come to quite enjoy it when some people call me a slut. Go figure - things change.

Slut. A sexually promiscuous woman? No. Not me. A Whore? Uh uh! Not in the conventional meaning of the word! But that's where the difference is - Convention. Living a BDSM lifestyle, however you live it, means you have thrown some conventions out the window and have chosen a different path. Along that path, things that are not acceptable to the average person become not only acceptable, but normal practices in the BDSM realm. Abusive activities become loving, abusive names become terms of endearment, reputations you were at loathe to have associated with you become badges of honor to savor and be proud of. Slut! YEAH!

So what does that word mean to me now? It means enjoying certain things to a far greater degree than before. Experimenting with fantasies, indulging in sensations, embracing variety. Being free to try it all. Being free to acknowledge wants and needs. Yes, the word slut has a very different meaning for me than it used to.

It doesn't mean I have to submit to every Dom, Dick and Harry that crosses my path. On the contrary, I'm as choosy now as I ever have been. And quite truthfully, the majority of submissives I know are just as choosy. Yet we all seem to smile when we hear the word slut.

Being a slut seems to have become a goal for the majority of submissives I know. It's almost become our mission, to viewed that way by the dominants we want to please. We don't want to be viewed that way by strangers, or even friends, just our dominant of the day. We're selective in our sluttiness. I like to think of it as being a selective slut.

We want to be somebody's slut. Or their whore or their cunt. We want to be available for use. We want to be a vehicle of sexual pleasure, but for a specific someone, not for the world in general.

We don't want to be the slut of our teenage years. The one that slept around and had a new boyfriend once a week. We don't want to be viewed as a conventional whore, providing sexual favors for money or gifts. We want to behave that way on a one on one basis so that the object of our desire feels the benefits of being with a wanton soul. We want to fulfill their animalistic needs and wants, sate the urges that rage through their loins (and ours).

Within the confines of BDSM we have an ability the vanilla world doesn't afford us. We have the ability to embrace our sexuality in ways that tend to be stifled in us as we're growing up. We don't have to be ladies and gentlemen all the time. We can shed our 'proper' façade and go for the gusto! We can do more that flirt, we can do more than tease. We can get down and dirty and slutty and trot our little asses around the room and show our charms and delight the object of our affections.

And it's allowed. Hell, it's not only allowed, for most of us, it's encouraged. Encouraged to the point that we get all slutted up and taken to parties and events just to show off how slutty we are. How lucky our dominant is to have such a slut to play with. And we can puff up our slutty chests, and wiggle our slutty asses in the safety and protection of our dominant and have people look us and enjoy the fact we are being our slutty best.

Look but don't touch. We're sluts, but we're selective sluts.

Used with permission. Original essay from:

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