Site Network: Submissive Guide | Submissive Journal Prompts | Dominant Guide | Kinky Blogging | My Blog |

Essay Collection

Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!

Email to a Friend    Print Essay    Save to Computer

Guidelines for Conduct

Author: Sergeant Major

Filed in: submission, training, rules

The role of a submissive at a public gathering is to add a sense of grace, charm and tranquillity to the event by the demonstration of their understanding of their chosen role.
This is done through their thoughts, words and actions by conducting themselves in a subdued but not servile manner. These guidelines are to provide a foundation on which each can build an individual and personal representation of themselves in their chosen role. Slavishly following a set of rigid universal rules negates the especial energy of the persona of the individual.


The first impression created in an observer is the visual. This impression is comprised of not only how one is dressed but also the body language. The attire may be dictated by fashion standards, the venue or the desires of another but the body language is a representation of the individual’s self image and feeling of self worth.

1.Dress or attire
While the specifics of what one wears is not always a personal choice the how it is worn is the responsibility of the individual. Personal grooming and fitness are paramount considerations for the individual. There is never any excuse for neglecting them; the finest of garments will not make up for any reduction of personal standards. Whatever is worn it should be worn with pride and worn in such a manner that the person within shines through.

2.Body Language
The body will be held erect in all instances within any constraints dictated by specific positions or physical limitations. Slouching indicates either disrespect or a lack of self –esteem, be proud of yourself and your chosen role. Body movements should always be modest and demonstrate control. Animation is allowed and expected but never should call undue attention to oneself i.e. placing the arms behind the body or arching the back thrusts the breasts forward calling attention to them. Tossing the head or hair, shifting positions repeatedly or any form of excessive movement shows restlessness and is distracting. All body language should demonstrate openness, lips slightly parted and relaxed, arms uncrossed unless directed to do so and the hands unclenched, relaxed and kept in sight.

3. Eye Contact
The eyes should remain downcast unless specifically addressed; making eye contact otherwise may seem confrontational. Always make and maintain eye contact when answering a question, asking a question or seeking reassurance, in these instances not making eye contact indicates something is being hidden. Eye contact will always be maintained with the speaker when being addressed except when being admonished, the eyes are downcast in that instance to indicate humility. Make eye contact when smiling or laughing, those are gifts you are giving.


1. Submissives do not speak unless spoken to. When they have a need to speak, for example to request a clarification, they will request permission to speak from the person to whom they are addressing the question. Exceptions to this guideline may be made when the situation is very informal or if directed by a dominant. The voice should be soft and well modulated when speaking.

2. When asked a question to which the answer is a simple yes the response will always be “Yes Sir” or “Yes, Ma’am”. When the answer is no then an explanation must always be given with the “No, Sir” or “No, Ma’am” response, most specifically when requested to do something.

3. When responding or requesting permission the answer or request should always include “Yes, Sir” or “Yes, Ma’am”. Failing to do this when making a request will most likely result in the request being denied. The phrase can be placed at either the beginning or the end of the answer or request but never at both. Using it twice is redundant and a poor use of the language.

4. The use of body language such as a tilt of the head or quizzical look to obtain permission to verbalize is acceptable.

This material has been extracted from "A Manual for the Formal Training of a Submissive" written by Sergeant Major and is published here with his permission. You can contact him via his email:

Related Essays

Temple Of Domination & submission

Iron Gate Banner Exchange