Sensuality Explored
Author: Sean The Dom
Filed in: sex, general knowledge
Sensuality and sexuality are entities unto themselves. They are genderless, totally self-contained, and motivated spirits. If the body is alive, then we possess some sensuality, some sexuality. Some more, some less, but it is there, it effects, and affects, all we do. It helps us decide our favorite colors, what we will wear, or not wear. How we see ourselves, and wish to be seen are determined, in great part, by our sensuality and sexuality.These spirits of are pure and beautiful, in the beginning. It is only after the social mores, standards, prejudices, and rules, are applied that they become distorted, and less than they were meant to be. This begins at the earliest moments of life, and to some extent it is unavoidable.
In the vast majority of cases, extreme changes need not be made, not nearly so many as we proclaim, for sure. For "our daddy", and "our mommy", we are forced to accept a certain demeanor, a certain, pre-defined mind-set. Once we are fully, or even partially, aware of our own sensuality and sexuality we can reclaim our more natural feelings, needs, wants, desires.
As teens, or pre-teens, we want to explore ourselves, explore the full range of feelings that flood our being. There is, however, too much of the time, a great many voices, rules, standards, that repress these feelings. Only by concentrating on one's true "self" are we able to break free, and return to the natural state, the beautiful and natural sensual and sexual beings we were meant to be.
As we get further away from our family nucleus, some go to extreme measures to reclaim "themselves". They are angry, without knowing it much of the time, but angry none the less. They become stupidly promiscuous, take unrealistic chances, in the hope of injuring the one(s) who took away the sensuality/sexuality that the individual has rediscovered. Of course, this is rarely the case. The individual is, in all but an extremely rare case, the one who suffers the injury, or the disappointment. These people usually become even more repressed, more jaded, less in contact with their true "self".
The fortunate ones, lucky is too vague, understand that they can leave the past judgments where they belong, in the past. These people go forward. They read, talk, learn by experience, without the extreme dangers that can be more of a hindrance, than a help. These people look inward, study who it is they are, who they wish to be. They leave who they were as far in the past as possible, thus making their growth rate faster. In addition, it empowers them, by feeling, and being, responsible for their future, rather than allowing their past to dictate their future. These are, truly, the free people, of the earth.
Am I a worthy person? Will I find happiness? Will there be someone just for me? Am I a good sex-partner? These are not relevant questions, but they are important to discuss, and clarify. In this portion you may learn some raw and brutal truths about yourself. Things that you can deal with, if you so choose.
"Am I a worthy person?"
It is a more true statement than, "if I am a whole person, as much as possible, I will be a valued human".
"Will I find happiness?"
How about, "when I allow the most positive I have to give be seen, happiness will break down my door to find me."
"Will there be someone, just for me?"
This is ridiculous, inane, but maybe the biggest lie, and too many of us hope to find as a truth. I can be a valued, loved, important person. But, the responsibility of being "just for one person" is too much, for anyone. Being influential, positive, good, warm, true, in and for, a person is far superior than to search for someone who will ultimately fail me by needing another, albeit for an innocent something. But, if I expect a person to be just for me, they will be a disappointment, without any doubt.
"Am I a good sex-partner?".
Do I search for what pleases my partner. Am I looking to please myself. Do I stay open to any/all new experiences. If I do these things, I will be a great sex-partner, and much more.
As we become involved in the D/s lifestyle, we see that the truth is only the truth, if it is our Truth. To take on the persona of another, to try to be "just like the last Lover" you heard about is the surest way to become separated from your "self". It would be a wise thing if we were all to remember that our "self" is what makes us important. There is nothing that can be as refreshing, as beautiful, as treasured, as finding that special person who gives, and takes, from the reflection, from the inner-most part of their true self.
Related Essays
- A Complete Erotic Massage (for Men or Women) by Society for Human Sexuality
- Anal sex: A Delicate Decision by Cadillac Carter
- Crash Course in Tantric Sex by Dzy
- The Clitoris: A how to of sorts by Author Unknown
- Kegels by Mistress Steel
