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A Dominant is NOT...

Author: Author Unknown

Filed in: dominance, humor

1. The 'I Am Dom Hear Me Roar' Dom: All shiny new leather wear, with a belt full of toys just bought at Jack's Whip-O-Rama). Of *course* he knows what to do! He read SM101... and even watched Exit To Eden three whole times!

2. The 'I Just Wanna Get Laid' Dom: Roams the halls sending IMs to the ladies telling them "On your knees! I am a Dom and U R my slave!". When he gets irate IMs back from the Domme he just sent to by mistake he quickly changes his tune to "R U a FDom? I am your slave! May I lick your boots?".

3. The 'Dungeon Slut' Dom: Has a new 'lady love' each day (sometimes 2 or 3 a day). He swears each time that *this* one is his 'eternal true love' least for the next two hours.

4. The 'Psycho-Stalker' Dom: Wants to know *exactly* what you do...every minute of he day and night. Insists on BCCs of all sent mail, and Forwards of all read mail, plus access to your account to check up on you. Do you get the feeling that someone is watching you? With this one, you're probably right.

5. The 'I Just Wanna Be Your *Friend*' Dom: Offers to guide you and protect innocent sweet thing you. Oh, those other 10 subs? Just friends. Really.

6. The 'Of Course I'm Dom...Uh Oh My Wife Is Home Gotta Run' Dom: Warning signs: "No honey you can't call me at my voice mail instead". Often disappears in the middle of a hot and heavy cyber session...uses an excuse like 'my power went out' when asked about it. "Of *course* Im not married!"

7. The 'I'm Not *That* Type Of Dom' Dom: Squeaky-clean image. The type of Dom that everyone *knows* is a good guy. He would never do something less than up-front and honorable. Uh-huh.

8. The 'Tom Cruise' Dom: He's young, rich, handsome and perfect....until you meet him in person. Then you find out that the 'Tom Cruise look-alike' you've been subbing to is 5'4", 400 lbs, bald, 48 years old, and living with his elderly mother. (Oh yeah... and he works as a clerk at 7-11...not as a CEO of a 'major corp').

9. The 'Alex I'd Like to Buy a Clue For $200' Dom: Ok, now you've got a what?

10. The 'I Don't Have A Sub Bone In My Body' Dom: Really a bottom at heart, just refuses to admit it...even to himself.

11. The "I have 10 years of r/l experience" Dom: Often found pontificating endlessly and regurgitating articles and sayings he found at castle realm while passing them off as his very own original ideas. (NOTE:.. now where have I seen/heard this?)

Favorite IM to send: suspend you 3 feet off the ground with metal cuffs, and you cry out in agony as I place a clothespin on your nipple.

Favorite IM to get: Teach and protect me oh great and wise one!

Most hated IM to get: I live where you do and go out to the local clubs all the time, Been in the scene for years and I haven't ever seen you or heard of you before.....

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