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Essay Collection

Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!

Essays by Bluedeacon

Attracting and Keeping a Partner by Bluedeacon
Filed in: relationships, dating

This is kind of an odd thing, I'm not really people savvy - but then again if I can find people and keep one for as long as I have, anyone should be able to. For the record though, I think she should [...]

Emotional Safety by Bluedeacon
Filed in: relationships, health and safety

One of the elements of a good relationship that many people either overlook or are unaware of, is emotional safety, what it entails, and how to create it. My hope here is to explore first what it is w[...]

On becoming 'Real' by Bluedeacon
Filed in: inspirational, general knowledge, d/s

Morning, all! I wanted to share something different with the group this morning. From time to time I've seen posts on and offlist about how a person doesn't yet feel like a sub/slave, or a dom/master[...]

Submissive Male in Society by Bluedeacon
Filed in: submission, scene

Q: What does it mean to me to be a submissive male in this society? Good question. First thing that *does* come to mind, is, contradiction. This society has not gone through male liberation, and does[...]

What are negotiations good for? by Bluedeacon
Filed in: negotiation

Negotiations are a good way to get to know one another, whether you are new to each other or have been with each other already, and continue to evolve. When you are new, it gives each person a chance [...]