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Essay Collection

Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!

Essays Tagged: Negotiation

BDSM Play Partner Checklist by Sovereign House
Filed in: negotiation, play, scene, checklist

The more information a Top knows about their bottom, the safer and more exciting their playtime can be. Remember… communication is the key to all relationships, BDSM and vanilla alike! Below i[...]

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist by Norische
Filed in: negotiation, play, checklist

There are a two primary reasons for this checklist, 1) Safety. In all scenes safety should be paramount. This checklist is created to cover health issues, safety issues, as well as personal preference[...]

Before Scene: Interview by Norische
Filed in: negotiation, play, scene, checklist

Interview Name: __________________________________________________________________ Age ____________ Gender___________ Sexual Orientation ____________________ How Top wishes to be addressed. _______[...]

Can I Get That In Writing: Basics Of Negotiations by Norische
Filed in: how-to, negotiation, play, scene

Negotiation – a discussion between two or more individuals, in which each individual presents a format of requirements, desires and limits, during this discussion each party will review the sugg[...]

What are negotiations good for? by Bluedeacon
Filed in: negotiation

Negotiations are a good way to get to know one another, whether you are new to each other or have been with each other already, and continue to evolve. When you are new, it gives each person a chance [...]

Tools of Consent in BDSM by
Filed in: negotiation, consent

Communication"Communication, communication, communication." You will hear this over and over again as you get to know more about BDSM. Communication occurs before, during, and after scenes; [...]

How to Negotiate Play Parties, For Men by Peppermint
Filed in: etiquette, negotiation, protocol, play parties

I hold sex parties, and at every sex party, it seems like some guy messes up and pisses off some woman. In most cases, he is a perfectly nice and not at all creepy fellow who just screwed up slightly[...]