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Essay Collection

Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!

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Qualities of A Successful Dominant by Polly Peachum
Filed in: dominance

"The Problems Started After I Moved In" When talking to submissive women about their lives and relationships, the most frequent cause of sorrow and difficulty that gets mentioned is the tra[...]

On becoming 'Real' by Bluedeacon
Filed in: inspirational, general knowledge, d/s

Morning, all! I wanted to share something different with the group this morning. From time to time I've seen posts on and offlist about how a person doesn't yet feel like a sub/slave, or a dom/master[...]

All Wrapped Up In Myself: Mummification Part 2, Safety and Wrapping Choices by Norische
Filed in: health and safety, bondage, mummification

Mummification is an adventure like no other; it can allow one to soar to new heights within their soul or to fall to the deepest depths of their subconscious mind. The time expended for a full mummifi[...]

Submissive's Sample Set of Positions for Memorization by Author Unknown
Filed in: submission, training, positions

For Submissives of any Gender. Intended for Consensual Fantasy Play Only. ================ "Attention" Positions ================ 0 Standing upright, legs spread moderately, hands clasped [...]

Cock and Ball Torture by Ms. Star
Filed in: how-to, cock and ball torture, torture

Introduction Cock and ball torture, or CBT as it is more commonly called, can involve a variety of things. Torture can be used to induce mild to severe pain or it can be used only to cause discomfort[...]

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist by Norische
Filed in: negotiation, play, checklist

There are a two primary reasons for this checklist, 1) Safety. In all scenes safety should be paramount. This checklist is created to cover health issues, safety issues, as well as personal preference[...]

BDSM Truth or Dare by #Submission
Filed in: humor, fun

A game of T or D is always encouraged on channel. Some will play and some won't, so just talk and play around each other. It makes for a fun time. Thanks to the member[...]

Take Your Breath Away: Basics of Breath Play by Norische
Filed in: how-to, breath play, beginners

Within the vast selection of BDSM activities not one is as dangerous as breath play. To be quite blunt there is NO safe way to participate in breath play. This is the only activity, that I am aware of[...]

Some Facts about SM by Author Unknown
Filed in: general knowledge, sm

S/M is not an aberration. S/M is a sexual orientation that is found in a significant percentage of the population. Surveys have listed S/M behavior by as much as 7 to 14 % of the population, with inte[...]

Five Phases of Punishment by Amsterdam News Desk
Filed in: punishment, discipline, process

Punishing is serious business. And good and effectful domestic punishment should be executed with care, a sharp for ritual and most of all, carefully planned and timed to create optimal[...]

BDSM Play Partner Checklist by Sovereign House
Filed in: negotiation, play, scene, checklist

The more information a Top knows about their bottom, the safer and more exciting their playtime can be. Remember… communication is the key to all relationships, BDSM and vanilla alike! Below i[...]

Submissive Needs vs. Submissive Wants by Polly Peachum
Filed in: submission, needs, wants

Polly wrote the following message on a mailing list she once belonged to, in response to another submissive's message. All information that might identify this woman or her situation has been removed.[...]

Strict Self-Bondage by David Stein
Filed in: bondage

If nothing else, self-bondage has the advantage (as an anonymous wit once said of masturbation) that you don't have to look your best. You needn't impress or arouse anyone else. You can do it when you[...]

Domination for Nice Guys by Franklin Veaux
Filed in: dominance

So you're a nice guy. You think that people should be treated with respect and courtesy' you find violence, particularly violence against women, reprehensible; you would never, under any circumstance[...]

Defining the BDSM Lifestyle: The Essential Prerequisite by Polly Peachum and Jon Jacobs
Filed in: dominance, submission, lifestyle, sm, definitions, bdsm, essentials

The following talks were given by Jon and Polly to a diverse audience on the IRC channel #surrender_discuss on October 8, 1996. Polly and Jon were asked to speak on the subject "Defining the BDSM[...]

BDSM Tips for Beginners by Lady Green and Jay Wiseman
Filed in: newbies, general knowledge

Hi folks. The following material is very closely based on the handout we give to the audience when we are invited to give an "SM For Beginners" presentation at a location such as a college c[...]

Advice to a Novice Dom by Washington Sexuality University FAQ
Filed in: dominance, newbies, general knowledge

(note: The spellings here, "hir" "sie" etc. are unisex conventions. These indicate that it applies to either gender. These are deliberate, they are not misspellings.) There are [...]

What NOT to say to your Dominant... by Author Unknown
Filed in: humor

Pushing limits does not mean making Master so angry the vein above his right eye throbs. "Quit it!" "Ow, damnit!" "I'm hiding that toy when you go to work tomorrow" and c[...]

Reasons for Spanking by Master Paddledom
Filed in: punishment, spanking, play

I have thought for some time about the marvelous variety of spankings and the various results that can be achieved. Mixed with the proper caring and circumstances they can be a powerful psychological [...]

Orgasm Control by gina
Filed in: orgasm control, denial, training, submissive training

My Master and i practice Orgasm Control which is also known as Release Training. It is NOT the same thing as Orgasm Denial which both my Master and i do not feel is healthy. We ha[...]

Choosing A Master/Mistress by TorqueDom
Filed in: relationships, dominance, dating

All too often, a sub will go with a Master or Mistress after little more than the most cursory conversation. Online and in r/l, this is a recipe for disaster, both mental and physical. * Communicatio[...]

Learning to Be a Dom by Master Demetrius
Filed in: dominance, newbies

Even though I'd had Dom impulses all my life, I still had to travel the same learning curve that any Dom does. It's one thing to have an impulse, and quite another to learn how to act on it effectivel[...]

Pecking Order: Multiple Slave Households by Norische
Filed in: training, slavery, protocol

Many individuals prefer multiple slaves/subs within the BDSM lifestyle. Several households have two, three, or more slaves/subs; in all honesty it is not unusual for an owner to prefer two or three sl[...]

Top Hat and Tails: The Basics of Formal Protocol by Norische
Filed in: protocol

Protocol - a series of rules and behaviors that are deemed appropriate and expected for certain circumstances. Formal Protocol - a rigorous series of structured behaviors that are used to focus atten[...]

Developing sub/slave Training Programs Part 1: The Assessment Phase by SAADE
Filed in: submission, training

Opening Statement:It is an awesome responsibility when someone asks you for training. Novice Dominants often jump at the chance to prove their prowess without thinking about the time commitment and t[...]

Some Rules - Dominants by Mystre
Filed in: dominance, rules

[it's mutual] 1. Be patient! Until you enter into a contract with a submissive, you have no more right to order him/her around than does anyone else. Give your bottom time to get to know you and what[...]

Why staying "in the closet" isn't necessarily a bad thing by Phrodeaux
Filed in: family, bdsm, acceptance, approach, in the closet

The question often comes up when I'm with other BDSM-oriented friends: "What do your family and friends think?The answer, for us at least, is simple: "We've never brought it up."We're n[...]

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants by Norische
Filed in: newbies, lifestyle, dangers

Within this lifestyle there are unfortunately many dangers, there are people out there using the BDSM lifestyle as a way to abuse or use individuals under an umbrella of acceptance. Within each situat[...]

"My Way or the Highway" by kaela
Filed in: needs, wants, compromise, balance, expectations

As a submissive, I have needs and wants. While it may be difficult to distinguish between the two, I know what makes me tick and what makes me happy. And for me, submitting to my master[...]

Healthy Breast Bondage by Susan Wright
Filed in: health and safety, bondage, breasts

This document brings together information available on breast trauma and hypoxemia, usually quoting verbatim from the sources. Most of the information in Healthy Breast Bondage was found on the intern[...]

A Little Drool Never Hurt Anyone: Basics of Gags and Gagging by Norische
Filed in: how-to, gags, toys

Gags come in a variety of different styles, sizes and materials. There are two basic reasons that one uses a gag, to keep the mouth open or to keep the mouth closed, other than that their function is [...]

All Wrapped Up In Myself: Mummification Part 3 - The Adventure Begins by Norische
Filed in: how-to, bondage, mummification

Now that you have explored all the safety issues and to some degree you have ventured into the realm of possibilities where wrappings are concerned, now the adventure begins. Set up a general area [...]

A Hot Time In The Old Dungeon Tonight: The Basics of Figging by Norische
Filed in: how-to, health and safety, figging, torture, history

A moan escapes as her tongue darts out and moistens her quickly drying lips. Her delicate hands clench and unclench with frustration; she wiggles her fingers furiously as she tries to rid herself of s[...]

Defining the BDSM Lifestyle: The Essential Prerequisite, part 2 by Polly Peachum and Jon Jacobs
Filed in: dominance, submission, lifestyle, sm, definitions, bdsm, essentials

Jon's Speech Hi, there! Polly has said the bulk of what we want to talk about tonight, but I do have a bit to add. I want to talk some about t[...]

Controlling the Slave by lauraTV
Filed in: dominance, submission, training

Although these suggestions were written specifically for the Mistress of a feminized male slave, many of them may be applied to a broad range of Dominant/submissive relationships. It is important for[...]

The Selfless Submissive by Kayla
Filed in: limits, submissive, sacrifice, selfless

This concept has sort of crawled under my skin in a few discussions i have had lately so i’m going to jump into the devil’s advocate role here. Are submissives really selfless? i say no we[...]

Gorean Slave Positions by Unknown
Filed in: gorean information, positions

Nadu (Pleasure Slave Position) The first and most often used of all of the Gorean slave positions, and one of the first ones a slave learns. The command gets its name, Nadu, from the Gorean word for [...]

How to Spot a Non-Dominant by COUNtess VelVEEta
Filed in: dominance, newbies, general knowledge

Karen said, in her preamble on How to Spot a Nondominant Male:"I am quite convinced that the BDSM community has become a haunting ground, and a hunting ground, for vanilla males who resent the fe[...]

Sample Consensual Contract by Author Unknown
Filed in: dominance, submission, contracts

This contract is provided as a secure and binding agreement which defines in specific terms the relationship and interaction between two individuals, hereafter termed the slave and the mas[...]

S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. by Justin Medlin
Filed in: general knowledge, ssc, rack

I am sure that most everyone reading this knows what S.S.C. stands for......Safe, Sane and Consensual. Its catchy, easy to remember and it has been a worthwhile marketing slogan for the BDSM lifestyle[...]

A Master's Creed by Author Unknown
Filed in: inspirational

For people who wonder about a D/s relationship and often feel it is "degrading" to a woman, this should clear it up. True D/s involves much love, respect, and trust. Here is what one Master [...]

Limitations and Personal Growth by Rover
Filed in: dominance, submission

---------------------------- My usual disclaimer applies. These are simply My personal musings regarding a D/s topic. It works in My relationships, but certainly does not work in all relationships. A[...]

One Dom's Point of View... by Michael P.
Filed in: dominance, inspirational

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or mass [...]

Fisting (Vaginal that is) by chelgrrl
Filed in: how-to, fisting, safety, tips, vaginal fisting, large object insertion

I get a lot of responses when I say to people that I love to be fisted. Of course there is the Fister, the person who does the fisting and the Fistee, the one receiving the fist. Women fistees react i[...]

I Could Beat You For That, But You Would Enjoy It Too Much: Alternative Punishments That Work by Norische
Filed in: punishment

Punishment by nature is something that is to be avoided, something that is negative; it should be unwelcome and act as a negative motivator. It can be used to motivate a submissive/slave to start beha[...]

Ceremony From The Heart: The Collaring Ceremony by Norische
Filed in: collars, ceremony

There comes a time in the life of all, that they feel incomplete, that there is something missing in their lives. Then someone comes into their world and fills the void, someone that has felt the same[...]

Warning Signs for Submissives by RC Bauer
Filed in: submission, newbies, warning signs

Introduction            Some of the things I write about are my personal experiences.  I also write about experiences others have shared wit[...]

A Submissive Bill of Rights by Author Unknown
Filed in: submission, newbies

You have the right to be treated with respect. Not only do you have this right, you have the right to demand it. Being submissive [...]

Ten Tips For The Novice, Single, Heterosexual Submissive Woman by Jay Wiseman
Filed in: submission, fantasies, tips, women

Let me guess. You're a woman, you're heterosexual, and you keep having strange, disturbing, recurring, and intense fantasies of a powerful, masterful man having his way with you. Perhaps he tears off[...]

Hair bondage by Author Unknown
Filed in: how-to, bondage

Incorporating the hair in your bondage is appealing to many and for many different reasons. It dramatically increases the feeling of being restrained, it's incredibly intimate and personal, it can be [...]

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