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Essay Collection

Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!

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Hot Wax by Lady Gwyneth Rose
Filed in: how-to, wax play

Ahhh, hot candlewax... hot wax... even the sibilant sound as it rolls off the tongue is deliciously decadent... hot waxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxsssssssssssss... much as the sound of the droplets hitting the f[...]

But We Have A Contract And Everything by Norische
Filed in: slavery, contracts, legal

"Legal Slavery" is it a reality or is it a fantasy. Not long ago I had a young man offer to become my "legal" slave; stating that there are ways, even in today's modern society, th[...]

Finding a Dominant Woman by Author Unknown
Filed in: relationships, d/s, dating

Many newcomers are anxious to meet and get close to a FemDom (aka female dominant). Quite a number make common mistakes. One grammatical mistake quickly comes to mind: using the word "dominate&qu[...]

Have You Ever? by Author Unknown
Filed in: submission, inspirational

Have you ever knelt, naked, trembling, at your Master's feet....patiently waiting while he picks out the perfect flogger? Have you ever crawled across the floor, crop between your lips, with that ple[...]

The Process Of Selection by Master Eso
Filed in: relationships, dominance, d/s, dating

There is a general nostalgic and romantic conception amongst Masters and slaves. It is the conception of Masters going to a slave market, and select a slave, or bid for a slave on au[...]

On My Honor: Understanding the Moral Obligations of a Dominant by Norische
Filed in: dominance, d/s, protocol

What is a Dominant's moral obligation to his or her slave? This is a very interesting question, one that can be answered in many manners. In order to understand what a Dominant\'s moral obligation to[...]

Coming out of the Closet by dark whisper
Filed in: leather, lifestyle, outting, family

I recently found myself in the unique position of having to try to "explain" dominance and submission. One afternoon, out of the blue, I wrote to my sister and told her not only that I was a[...]

10 Doms Online by Unknown
Filed in: dominance, humor, newbies, online

1. The 'I Am Dom Hear Me Roar' Dom: All shiny new leather wear, with a belt full of toys (just bought at Jack's Whip-O-Rama). Of *course* he knows what to do! He read SM101...and even watched Ex[...]

Crash Course in Tantric Sex by Dzy
Filed in: sex

The practice of tantric sex begins with delayed gratification and really has to do with focus. Not a myopic focus on your beloved's genitals, but a really concerted effort to arouse, prolong arousal w[...]

On Love and D/s by Lord HamiltonZ
Filed in: relationships, d/s, love

There seems to be a feeling by some, that "love" lessens Dominance. That tenderness equates somehow with a lessened sense of "Mastery". Rubbish. Dominance and submission are emotio[...]

Shocking! Absolutely Shocking!: Part IV - Techniques For The Violet Wand by Norische
Filed in: how-to, electroplay, play

The thin sheen of sweat on her body glistened as she stood there shivering in anticipation. With the blindfold on she could not see the soft glow of the violet wand reflecting off her glistening body,[...]

Power Exchange - Strong Women (in Charge/Control) Giving Power by Gev
Filed in: control, surrender, power exchange, powerful women

The topic (or dichotomy) of a Powerful Woman engaging in a power exchange, has been of great interest to me. Why would a woman, who is normally in control of their life, who is assertive, and who is s[...]

Electro Stimulation play by Unknown
Filed in: electroplay

* All Materials were obtained by many sources and research and personal experience and by no means are to be taken as The Bible of Electro Stimulation Play. * Extensive Research on Electro Stimulation[...]

Shocking! Absolutely Shocking!: Part V - The Advanced Techniques For The Violet Wand by Norische
Filed in: how-to, electroplay, play

I begin with a small admonition that anything that I describe within this article is for educational purposes only. Application of electricity in any form to a human body does involve risk, and hence [...]

Shocking! Absolutely Shocking!: Part II - The Safety Guide to The Violet Wand by Norische
Filed in: health and safety, electroplay

Violet wands are definitely one of the most desirable toys available; however, they can also be quite dangerous if used incorrectly. Safety is an absolute must when it comes to using a violet wand. Wh[...]

Understanding...Feminine Hygiene by raven
Filed in: health and safety

Vaginal wetness and odor are normal and all women have to contend with it. My goal with this essay is to educate you on what the most common causes are. Give you some guidelines on how to deal with it[...]

Afternoon Tea 1: An Experience in British Tea Service by Norische
Filed in: how-to, ritual, etiquette, service, protocol

Tea: A History While there are volumes of information about the rich and illustrious tradition of Tea Time in Britain, information of the earliest introduction of tea to England and its associates ar[...]

The Vicissitudes of Submissive Development by Yaldah Tovah, M.D.
Filed in: submission, health and safety, temperment

From SubmissiveWomenSpeak.net, a now defunct website. In an earlier paper, I highlighted the developmental line that produces a healthy adult heterosexual submissive female (here). I highlighted the r[...]

Mentorship by Mistress Constance
Filed in: general knowledge, beginners, mentors

One of the words we hear a lot these days is "mentor." People talk about the need for mentors in our community. Novices are looking for mentors. More experienced people call themselves mento[...]

A Beginners Guide to Munches by Stu
Filed in: newbies, general knowledge, munches

This document may be copied only in it's entirety, including this header and the e-mail address at the bottom. It must not be edited or altered in any way. If you have comments/suggestions, please let[...]

Afternoon Tea 2: What will you serve, and how to serve it? by Norische
Filed in: how-to, ritual, etiquette, service, protocol

Now that the basics have been covered lets move on to the invitation, menu and serving of a proper Afternoon tea. Invitations Invitations should be sent 10 to 14 days in advance, this should ensure [...]

Needle Play Tips by Maximus
Filed in: health and safety, needle play

Ten Basic BDSM Principles: 1) BDSM play should be safe, sane and consensual. 2) Know your SM player(s). Do not have BDSM play with strangers. 3) Always inform a friend that you are having BDSM play[...]

The Clitoris: A how to of sorts by Author Unknown
Filed in: how-to, sex

I don't know if this is the same for every woman, so bear with me. A random sampling of my girlfriends made up this argument in the form of Public Service Announcement; your results may vary with othe[...]

Crash Course in Tantric Sex by Dzy
Filed in: sex, sex advice, sex practices, tantra, tantric sex

The practice of tantric sex begins with delayed gratification and really has to do with focus. Not a myopic focus on your beloved's genitals, but a really concerted effort to arouse, prolong arousal w[...]

Using Clothespins in BDSM Play by Sir Sparehawk
Filed in: clamps, play

Definitions using an open clothespin diagram. hole spring | /________________________________\__n__0________________________/ leg __u__0________________________/_______________________[...]

On Being Worthless by Rick's Fucktoy
Filed in: training, humiliation, experience, slut

it's a concept that i can understand so clearly in my head, yet i have been struggling to find the words that will explain it to someone who might read my thoughts and want to understand my perception[...]

Honorifics, Titles and Respect by Master Eso
Filed in: speech, protocol

When a slave or submissive is "asked" to call all Dominants Sir or Ma'am they are not being forced to show added respect, beyond basic respect or common courtesy. The use [...]

The Perfect Slave by slave girl
Filed in: slavery, definitions

How does one begin to write an essay giving a definitive description of the perfect slave? I believe that there may be as many descriptions for that as there are Masters in this world, as it h[...]

I am a Submissive Woman by Pure Devl
Filed in: submission, love, beauty, happiness, common sense

I am a submissive woman look through my eyes and see who I really am. I am strong, independent, bright,witty, beautiful and a lot like you. Can you see it? Do you understand it? Come with me and ill [...]

Defining Abuse in Absolute and Total Power Exchange by Master Eso
Filed in: d/s, tpe, abuse

The problems with the definition of abuse within an Absolute and Total Power Exchange commitment/relationship is very clear. Abuse is completely subjective. Everyone has different pe[...]

The Joys of Journaling by Kayla Kuffs
Filed in: submission, journaling

You've read this many times in the context of BDSM, COMMUNICATION is one of the most important aspects of a BDSM relationship. It's true. Without good communication your relationship is doomed to fail[...]

Hurt So Good: The Joys of Being A Masochist by Norische
Filed in: masochism

The cold metal of the cuffs bite into her wrists, her eyelids grow heavy as she stands waiting, barely breathing…. anticipating the next blow. Her tongue darts from her mouth to taste the tear [...]

Untitled (They said.... You are Woman...) by Author Unknown
Filed in: inspirational

They said... You are Woman ... Go out and conquer the world They said - be strong Don't betray your Sisters You don't need a man You are sufficient unto yourself They said - be strong Don't betray yo[...]

A Slap in the Face by Rick's Fucktoy
Filed in: slapping, humiliation, mindset, technique, degradation, slap in the face

I don't think I could ever forget the first time I felt it. He was buried deep inside me as my thighs straddled His hips, riding Him slowly as we talked. I don't remember what we were talking about or[...]

Play Party Etiquette by Non-Famous Lauren
Filed in: etiquette, protocol, play

The following document contains some valuable information about BDSM play party etiquette. It was written for users of the Usenet newsgroup alt.sex.bondage, and is intended to cover both events held i[...]

Wannabe Infestation by Norische
Filed in: newbies, general knowledge

wan·na·be also wan·na·bee P Pronunciation Key (wn-b, wôn-) Informal n. One who aspires to a role or position. One who imitates the behavior, customs, or dress of an a[...]

What a slave needs... by David Stein
Filed in: slavery

Some late-night thoughts i felt were worth sharing: Slaves, and those who seek to be slaves, are constantly advised not to be self-centered and not to focus on our needs and desires but rather those o[...]

Thoughts on Isolation by kaya
Filed in: slavery, tpe, m/s, isolation, solitude

I live a fairly isolated lifestyle. I suppose in comparison to some people, you could say that I live an extremely isolated life. It's not unusual for me to go days on end without ever leaving the hou[...]

A Dominant's Creed by Author Unknown
Filed in: dominance, inspirational

Above all else a Dom/me cherishes Their submissive, in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives Them is the greatest gift of all. A Dom/me is demanding and takes full advantage of the power g[...]

Choose Your Words Carefully V: Want VS Need by Norische
Filed in: training, speech

Within the vanilla world there are many words that we use without consideration. Words that seem ordinary within one realm gain quite a different meaning within the realm of BDSM. Simple words that ar[...]

Slavery In Word And Speech by Master Eso
Filed in: slavery, speech

A slave must realize and understand that her submission, devotion and obedience to her Master have its roots within her own mind and heart and are expressed by her behavior, deed and[...]

Ceiling Bolts by Jeff Dominant
Filed in: toys

There are several ways to install hooks in a conventional ceiling but all will require a hole of some size. However, if you use hardware which is just big enough for the job and install it carefully w[...]

Slavery and Safewords by Master Eso
Filed in: slavery, safe words

As there is often the mentioning about the use of safewords, I thought it would be a good time to share my personal view on safewords. Lets first determine what a safeword actually is. A saf[...]

The PLEASURE of the PAIN Why Some People Need S & M - sadomasochistic sex by Marianne Apostolides, Psychology Today, Sept, 1999
Filed in: general knowledge, sm, sadomasochism

Bind my ankles with your white cotton rope so I cannot walk. Bind my wrists so I cannot push you away. Place me on the bed and wrap your rope tighter around my skin so it grips my flesh. Now I know th[...]

Dealing with Law Enforcement at Your Door by Sir Bamm!
Filed in: how-to, health and safety, legal

Hopefully the time will never come that this happens to you: You�re in the middle of a play party, your guests are in various states of undress, your friends are beating and being beaten and there�s a[...]

Response to the Copyright Issue by Purr
Filed in: emblem, controversy

I think it's important, especially in a group of writers, that we reiterate that not everything that is posted on the internet may be 100% factual. Even if the facts are correct, interpretations var[...]

What to Expect at a Munch by Mistress Constance
Filed in: newbies, munches

If you've never been to a munch before, the prospect can be very intimidating. What should you expect, how should you behave, how should you dress, what might happen, what might not? When you add that[...]

Get To The Point: Basics of Quilling (With Real Porcupine Quills) by Norische
Filed in: how-to, needle play, beginners

The art of Quilling is something that has been around for ages, unfortunately however it seems to be a lost art. This article will explain the safety issues, basic information on and use of porcupine [...]

More Things NOT to Say to your Dominant... by blushRedTail
Filed in: humor

 - Is that the BEST You can do?    - There is no such thing as long enough or hard enough...   - i have NO limits - You wouldn't DARE do that...  - i can take whatev[...]

Dating in the Lifestyle by luna[KM]
Filed in: d/s, dating

It’s so hard to find someone in the Lifestyle that I’m compatible with. You are so lucky to have found someone. I don’t know how many times I hear this on a daily basis when convers[...]

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