Browse Most Popular Essays
So You Want To Be A Slave: The Realities by mira_hunter
Filed in: submission, slavery, learning, behavior, realities, 24/7, ritual.service
I decided to write this article because I have seen so many submissives come into the lifestyle expecting everything to be dream-like and perfect. I don't wish to ruin anyone's dreams, or turn them f[...]
Kids and BDSM by kaya
Filed in: outting, bdsm, safety, raising children, precautions
My daughter found the key and rifled through our toybox about two years ago. She was 12. This absolutely and completely traumatized her. She had enough knowledge (most likely from the internet) to kno[...]
Standing on My Own Two Feet: Basics of Foot Torture by Norische
Filed in: how-to, torture
The human foot is comprised of 26 skeletal bones, held together by 32 muscles and tendons and strengthened by 109 ligaments, the entire weight of an individual is balanced on this delicate weave of bo[...]
Establishing a Protocol by Laura Antoniou
Filed in: training, rules, etiquette, protocol, behavior
A talk given by Laura Antoniou, December 1, 2000What is the number one reason for failure of an S/M relationship?Lack of consistency. Not failed flogging or lack of fetish wear. Consistency.Basicall[...]
Candlelight Moments: Basics of Wax Play by Norische
Filed in: how-to, wax play
For many wax play is one of the first experiences within the BDSM realm, this is also the reason that so many people end up getting accidentally hurt. All too often someone is watching a pornographic [...]
Submissive Male in Society by Bluedeacon
Filed in: submission, scene
Q: What does it mean to me to be a submissive male in this society? Good question. First thing that *does* come to mind, is, contradiction. This society has not gone through male liberation, and does[...]
First Aid For the Corsetted by Jane G. Beckman
Filed in: health and safety, corsets
Corsets are not things modern people expect or relate to. Most first aid courses are definitely not skewed toward dealing with people who wear period regalia. However, the problems of our sort need to[...]
Anal Odyssey by Mistress G and Alan
Filed in: health and safety, anal sex, scene
Why incorporate anal play into D/S scenes? It feels good; the area is sensitive and erotic, interconnected to sexual organs Produces a feeling of vulnerability and of penetration and p[...]
Lessons Learned by kaya
Filed in: humor, lessons, quips
As anyone who reads my journal could tell you, I am far from the "perfect" slave. I slip and fumble, make mistakes, make the same one again... and again... routinely. But, tirelessly, my Mas[...]
The Fragrant Dust by Polly Peachum
Filed in: submission, service, spirituality, acceptance, humility, norms
From SubmissiveWomenSpeak.net, a now defunct website. From the author: I wrote this article in 1988 for one issue of a short-lived print bdsm zine called "The Original Agenda." This zi[...]
What is Subspace? by Lady Tawn
Filed in: submission, subspace
"I have only heard of it, and everything I have read seems to differ. What is it and how do I know I am there? Why would I want to go there? I would love to hear about specific experiences as wel[...]
Selecting Rope for Japanese Bondage by Unknown
Filed in: how-to, bondage, rope
People frequently ask me what kind of rope I recommend. As with buying a computer, the answer is always "that depends on what you're trying to accomplish with it." There are a variety of asp[...]
Romanticism vs. realism by Polly Peachum
Filed in: submission, needs, romanticism, realism
From SubmissiveWomenSpeak.net, a now defunct website.Polly originally wrote this article on a private mailing list to explain to the small readership, most of whom were self-identified romantics, why [...]
Choose Your Words Carefully II: Nude VS Naked by Norische
Filed in: training, speech
Within the vanilla world there are many words that we use without consideration. Words that seem ordinary within one realm gain quite a different meaning within the realm of BDSM. Simple words that ar[...]
Top 10 Signs you are Too Old for BDSM by Unknown
Filed in: humor
10. Sensory deprivation is when your Dom hides your hearing aid batteries. 9. Your nipple clamps have training wheels. 8. Edge play is standing by the microwave with a pacemaker. 7. When you tell y[...]
10 Commandments for Newbies by LadyMary03
Filed in: newbies, rules, submissive, learning, experience, commandments
I. THOU SHALT BE RELENTLESS IN YOUR SEARCH OF KNOWLEDGE ...for there are many who are willing and eager to guide and assist you in your searchII. THOU SHALT NOT BE HAUGHTY OF MIND ...for we all are st[...]
What are negotiations good for? by Bluedeacon
Filed in: negotiation
Negotiations are a good way to get to know one another, whether you are new to each other or have been with each other already, and continue to evolve. When you are new, it gives each person a chance [...]
Absolute Slavery by Master Eso
Filed in: relationships, d/s, slavery, tpe
Absolute Slavery The basic requirements and general rules and dynamics of Absolute Slavery and Absolute and Total Power Exchange (APE/TPE), as compiled by Master Eso © 2003 ====[...]
Rediscovering and Modernizing The Geisha : New Submissive Perspectives In Contemporary BDSM by Pantheris
Filed in: submission, service, geisha
The geisha is a potential site for exploration and experimentation in the world of BDSM today. As the world undergoes a shrinkage, globalization allows cultural crossovers; this not only per[...]
Shocking! Absolutely Shocking!: Part I - The Beginners Guide to The Violet Wand by Norische
Filed in: electroplay, beginners
A BRIEF HISTORY For centuries man has been fascinated by electricity; the mystical, magical illusion of power and fire all rolled into one tangible source. Since 1745 when Georg Von Kleist discovered[...]
Psychological Aspects of Consensual Rape by Rick's Fucktoy
Filed in: sex, force, tips, consensual rape, psychological aspects
"Consensual rape." Quite an oxymoron, I suppose. Rape, by definition, is sexual intercourse in which one party is unwilling and unwanting of the attention and act. A consensual act is someth[...]
Ice Play by Naia
Filed in: how-to, ice play
Dear Mistress Naia: I'm interested in playing with ice. How does one actually scene with it? Should it be pleasurable or punishing? I have forbidden myself from quoting any horrendous pseudo-rap that[...]
Leash Laws: The Basics of Leash Training by Norische
Filed in: training, leash
The fantasy of the leash, when someone is on a leash they enter a fantasy world, created within the boundaries of their own mind. Somewhere within the recesses of the deep dark catacombs of their mind[...]
Every ROSE Has A Thorn: Honor, Respect and Protocol Amongst Dominants by Norische
Filed in: dominance, rules, etiquette, protocol
Recently a submissive I was communicating with informed me that a Domme from Missouri, where I am from, told him that I was a fake. He would not give me the specifics but in general he stated that thi[...]
Is It House Broke? Protocol Within Your Own Home by Norische
Filed in: training, protocol
What is protocol? Protocol - a series of rules and behaviors that are deemed appropriate and expected for certain circumstances. In today's BDSM society there is no set rules for protocol. Some port[...]
Defining Absolute and Total Power Exchange by Master Eso
Filed in: relationships, d/s, slavery, tpe
As there are many different opinions and perceptions, and the subject as to what actually defines Absolute and Total Power Exchange or Absolute Slavery, comes up frequently, I will t[...]
Doing It Yourself by David Stein
Filed in: how-to, bondage
"Self-bondage" may seem like a contradiction in terms -- after all, if you tie yourself up, you'd better be able to un-tie yourself, meaning that you'll have to stay in control and won't be [...]
Anal Advice by angel
Filed in: anal sex, tips, advice, sex advice, anal
Here are some tips to make anal play and anal sex more enjoyable for you. Step One: Enemas... Anytime i know in advance that Master is going to want to have anal sex (like when i have my period) i giv[...]
Serve, Service and Servitude by Ms Lyn
Filed in: submission, service, definitions
What do you mean when you offer to serve? What do you mean when you offer to be of service? What do mean when you offer yourself in servitude? Do the answers to these questions bring up visions of [...]
Shocking! Absolutely Shocking!: Part VI - The Website Guide to The Violet Wand by Norische
Filed in: general knowledge, electroplay
Rubert Huse and Sons Current manufacture of the Violet Wand http://www.huse.com/cgi-bin/SoftCart.exe/scstore/catagories/cat_electricity.html Electrodes and Antique Wands For Sale One of the best sel[...]
The Selective Slut by Kayla Kuffs
Filed in: sex, submissives, sexuality, slut, bdsm lifestyle
The first time I was called a slut in a BDSM context I was extremely insulted. How dare they? How rude! But I was too new to this lifestyle to do anything more than think those words. I did however, n[...]
The Dominant by By TorqueDom
Filed in: dominance
Above all else he cherishes his submissive, in the knowledge that the gift she gives him is the greatest of all. He is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given to him, but knows how t[...]
Choose Your Words Carefully I: Don't VS Stop by Norische
Filed in: training, speech
Within the vanilla world there are many words that we use without consideration. Words that seem ordinary within one realm gain quite a different meaning within the realm of BDSM. Simple words that ar[...]
24/7 Slavery by Rick's Fucktoy
Filed in: relationships, slavery, serving, 24/7, mindset
24/7. All day, every day. Is it possible to live any lifestyle to that degree? More to the point, is it possible to live *this* lifestyle that i've chosen for myself on a 24/7 basis?i suppose before i[...]
Attracting and Keeping a Partner by Bluedeacon
Filed in: relationships, dating
This is kind of an odd thing, I'm not really people savvy - but then again if I can find people and keep one for as long as I have, anyone should be able to. For the record though, I think she should [...]
BDSM Definitions by D. Glenn Arthur Jr.
Filed in: general knowledge, definitions
BDSM = Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, S&M BDSM is a convenient abbreviation for most of the interesting activities discussed in alt.sex.bondage. It's so convenient that it [...]
Serve, Service, Servitude? by Ms Lyn
Filed in: submission, slavery, service, serving, approach, suggestions, servitude
What do you mean when you offer to serve? What do you mean when you offer to be of service? What do mean when you offer yourself in servitude? Do the answers to these questions bring up visions of yo[...]
A Complete Erotic Massage (for Men or Women) by Society for Human Sexuality
Filed in: how-to, sex, massage
1. Start by setting the space. The room should be warm enough for someone to be comfortable lying down naked in it (at least 78 degrees). Play some soft music, and possibly burn some incense. Turn off[...]
The Psychology of Slavery: Understanding Consensual Slavery by Norische
Filed in: control, power, behavior, consensual slavery, realities
Aeschylus – Destiny waits alike for the free man as well as for him enslaved by another’s might. Throughout time millions of individuals have fought and died to free their brother, friend,[...]
Shibari History by Calais
Filed in: bondage, rope, shibari, history
ShibariHistory of originMost of Japanese culture was in fact brought in from it's surrounding countries, through invasion or by trade routes, including India, Korea and China. It is not known whether [...]
Our Absolute Lifestyle by Master Eso
Filed in: leather, lifestyle, scene
When I came out in the BDSM scene some 6 years ago, after practicing my lifestyle in the privacy of my own home for some 23 years, I did so under the naïve assumption that the B[...]
A Collar and Its Many Meanings by Unknown
Filed in: collars, protocol
A collar in BDSM symbolizes a commitment that has often been compared to a wedding ring. This type of commitment comes in other forms, such as a brand, a tattoo, a piercing[...]
Giving a Grade A Blowjob by angel
Filed in: fellatio, blowjobs, giving a blowjob, technique
Giving a hummer is an art. Everyone who has the great luck to take a cock lovingly into their mouth should know what they are doing. Here are a few tricks i use. 1) Enthusiasm. You should look at your[...]
Aftercare by Unknown
Filed in: aftercare, play, scene
Immediately following a bdsm scene, there is the potential for adominant and his submissive to have some wonderful time together.Most people who use this time call it after care. I would urgeanyone to[...]
Giving Erotic Massage by Unknown
Filed in: sex, massage, learning, erotic massage, sex tips
Relaxing Your Partner's Body Start by connecting with your partner. There may be specific ways you and your partner prefer to do this. If not, try kind words, soft gazing into each other's eyes, sync[...]
Consent With Awareness by Master Eso
Filed in: relationships, d/s, slavery, tpe
I am really not sure what the motivation behind concealing the truth and realities of consensual slavery is, as can be seen so often in other groups professed to APE/TPE lifestyle, o[...]
The New VT Submissive by dark whisper
Filed in: submission, online
So you've come to the realization that you are most likely a submissive, aye? Are you a little, or maybe not so little, afraid? What does the world of BDSM or D/s hold for you? How will you know which[...]
Jac The Ripper: Basics of Knife Play and Cutting by Norische
Filed in: how-to, knife play
The Touch of Her Master’s Hand By: Mistress Norische As her body trembles in anticipation, fear, and pain…she knows. As the touch of cold steel entices a gasp…she knows. As the[...]
Confessions of a Control Whore by Rick's Fucktoy
Filed in: submission, limits, control, power, slut, miscommunication
So there isn't any miscommunication, let it be said from the beginning of this journey into the darker recesses of my mind, I'm not a pain slut. I don't get wet at the thought of being beaten. If the [...]
Top 10 ways to be a SAM by Lady K
Filed in: humor
Get up on the wrong side of the rack this morning? A little miffed after that 12 hour bondage scene yesterday? Not getting enough of the whip? Perhaps you are just feeling kinda SAMmy? These are the t[...]
